Home Life of a Hapless Saiyan
by Team Dragon Star
Summary: ONE-SHOT: A proposing Gohan, a clueless Goten, an angry Chichi, a drunk Bulma, a festive Vegeta and a confused Goku... What else could go wrong? Valentines Day One-Shot.


**Disclaimer: We do not own DBZ.**

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><p>Goku and Goten had been hard at work, training all day; it had been three months since the monster known as Kid Buu had been defeated. Goku had seen what happened to Gohan after Cells defeat, he had grown lazy in his training and wasn't prepared for the pink monstrosity, it wasn't a mistake Goku would make again, much to Goten's dismay.<p>

However there was something Goten looked forward to that came from his training, it worked up his appetite, a trait shared by all of the Son men. But today there wasn't the usual scent of succulent meats being cooked, coming from the small home on the edge of mount paoz. In fact there wasn't even a light on in the kitchen. Forever cautious Goku tip toed into the kitchen.

"Chi?" Goku whispered into the darkness.

However he never anticipated a solid metal object to come clanging down on top of his head.

A scream of pain came from the Saiyan; there was only a few things in the universe that scared Goku. One of them had just come clanging down on his head, the frying pan. An other-worldly kitchen utensil that was impervious to damage. The other thing that scared Goku the most was the being wielding it, his wife Chi-Chi, and by the looks of things she was in a foul mood.

"Oh Goku dearest, are you wondering why there isn't any food prepared for you and Goten tonight?" said Chi-Chi in a sickly sweet voice.

"Erm n-n-no," came the fearfully nervous voice of Goku.

"Because, you and Goten ate all the food this morning!" screamed Chi-Chi with enough force to level a mountain.

"Come on, Chi we need to eat to keep up our strength, how do you expect us to save the save the world on an empty stomach, ha," said Goku with a nervous laugh.

All Chi-Chi could do was revel in the fact that the strongest man in the universe, was stood in front of her scared for his life and fumbling his words. But the fact that he was coming up with excuses like that just gave her another reason to bring the pan down on his head again.

"Ow hey what was that for?" said Goku clutching his head.

"If you haven't noticed, oh dear husband, but there is no threat to the universe anymore, so there's, no need to eat-so-much!" screamed Chi-Chi bringing the pan down in time with every word to make sure Goku got the point.

"Well, why don't you go to the store and buy some more food, I can't do everything around here!" as soon as the words left Goku's mouth he clasped his hands around his mouth, he had really done it now.

Chi-Chi had rolled her sleeves up, and Goku knew what that meant, he was going to get the beating of his life if he didn't move quickly.

"Goten do you think we should get them groceries now?"

Chi-Chi was now throwing him a death glare and had a look of malice on her face, he took this as the signal to pick up Goten and fly as fast as he could. All Chi-Chi could do was scream after the pair of them.

"If you don't bring anything back Goku, you're not getting fed and your sleeping on the couch!" Goku instantly knew what that meant, it had been a sort of routine between him and Chi-Chi that the days he had trained would be when they had their "fun", and Goku was a sucker for a routine.

Goku and Goten were flying at a leisurely pace, partially because they were tired from training and partially to give Chi-Chi some time to calm down. Goku knew from experience that once she was in a mood she could stay that way for a long time, Goku remembered when Gohan was only a few months old and was just starting to walk around. Goku had left him unattended for a few minutes, and in the short time he was unsupervised Gohan had wandered off into the woods chasing a butterfly. It was the main reason, Chi-Chi made him study so much, so he was never out of his mother's view.

"Oh crap, Goten, Gohan's flying home to a very angry mother. Do you think he will still be with Videl? We have to warn him!" Goku cried, breaking Goten out of his day dream.

"Er.. I'm not s'posed to tell you where he is dad, he made me promise not to say" said Goten with his childlike innocence.

"Goten if you don't tell me, then I'll tell your mother that you didn't help with shopping at all, do you think she would let you go to trunks to play if I told her that?" said Goku revelling in being on the winning side of outsmarting someone for a change.

Goten was flying lazily for a second weighing up his options, on the one hand he could tell on his brother and still get to see trunks, or he could not tell and not get to see his friend. The decision was simple for the 8 year old.

"I think he said he was going to take Videl to a restaurant to, parapose, pripapose… propoopie...?"

"Propose, Gohan's going to ask Videl to marry him!" said Goku with so much shock he fell a couple hundred feet before recovering.

"Yeah that one!" said Goten with childlike glee.

"Goten, do you even know what marriage is?" asked Goku curiously

"Erm, is it food, ooh is it chocolate, I want to get some marriage dad," smiled Goten

All Goku could do was shake his head at the simple mindedness of his youngest child, but it also filled him with joy that the pair of them were so alike. Goku had only known his youngest child for a little more than a year and in that time the similarities between the pair of them staggered Goku. Everything about Goten, even down to the orange gi was a double image of Goku.

"Er dad, are we going to warn Gohan or not? We don't want him walking in on mum when she's angry!" Goten exclaimed, with a quizzical look on his face.

"We sure are kiddo, we don't need your mums mood, ruin one of the happiest day of Gohan's day, did he say where he was going," replied Goku.

"He sure did, it's this big restaurant near to Capsule Corp, it has a huge water fountain out front that me and Trunks p..." Goten stopped himself before he got himself into trouble.

"Ok I've got it visualized, Capsule Corp, Goten grab on I'm going to use instant transmission to get there" said Goku over the sound of the wind.

Travelling by instant transmission was always an alien feeling to Goku even after using it so many times; there was always the feeling of travelling extremely fast with no control over anything. Places Goku had seen throughout his life would fly past him until he got to the particular place he wanted.

Goku had appeared where Goten had described, the huge water fountain was gushing out gallons of water in front of what seemed to be a restaurant of astronomical proportions, and the place was the size of a mansion, floors completely dedicated to certain aspects of running a restaurant. At the front was a waiter sitting on a pedestal with a huge reservations book, ticking off names of people dressed in great amounts of finery as they walked into the restaurant. As Goku walked up to the waiter, he was given a look of disgust by the waiter.

"Ahem, excuse me sir do you have a reservation?" said the waiter in a tone of mockery.

"No I don't but, I do need to see my son and he's in this restaurant, may I come in and talk to him," said Goku politely.

"Sir this is the grandest restaurant in all of west city, and you plan to walk in wearing clothes like that, I'm sorry but we have a reputation to keep and I can't just let you in. Especially with that little blighter!" said the waiter, lunging for Goten.

The waiter had hoisted Goten up into the air by the back of his shirt.

"Hey let me down!" shouted Goten, his eyes momentarily flashing green.

"This little swine and his pink haired friend, have been sighted several times urinating in our grand pool" said the waiter in the same mock tone he had been taking with Goku the entire time.

"Whatever he is guilty of, it isn't right for you to grab him like that, drop my son at once!" said Goku with the same cold blooded stare he gave enemies like Frieza and Cell.

"I'm sorry but I won't be able to do that, I'm reporting him and his silly haired friend to the proper authorities, now sir please move away or I will have security escort you away," said the waiter.

In the blink of an eye a very familiar, short Saiyan materialised behind the waiter.

"Drop the child now, fool!" Came the ever-threatening voice of Vegeta.

"Fool who do you thinks you are? You dander headed off!"

"I'm the owner of this restaurant and your boss, oh and by the way, that silly haired youth happens to be my son. Now drop the boy or I will personally make sure that you getting fired tonight isn't the worst thing that happens to you tonight!" shouted the intimidating form of Vegeta.

All the waiter could do was splutter apologies and begging requests, all Vegeta did was leave him there as he signalled for Goku to follow him into the restaurant.

"I didn't take you for a business man Vegeta?" quizzed Goku.

"I'm not Kakarot, but Bulma was getting pissed at my demands for high quality food every meal. So I bought this place and I get to gorge on some of the planets greatest delicacies for free any night of the week. It's one of the small perks of having one of the richest women on earth for a mate" said Vegeta with extreme smugness.

"Happy Valentine's Day Gokuh...uhhhhh my head!" shouted a very drunk Bulma, from her booth.

"Baka," said Vegeta pinching his nose.

"Anyway what are you doing here Kakarot, come sit have some food, it looks like the harpies finally stopped cooking for you. All I can hear is your stomach rumbling" said Vegeta with a rare tone of sincerity.

After years of fighting to best Goku, Vegeta had finally settled for second best,safe in the knowledge that as long as the pair of them were alive the Earth and even the universe were forever safe. They both still fought, but instead of an intense hatred, it was a mutual friendly rivalry. In between inhalations of food, Goku would explain the turn of events that brought him to west city.

"Argh that god forsaken human ritual, Bulma was on at me for years to get married. I wish I had done it sooner she was that happy on the day she jumped me as soon as we got to our hotel room. These humans may be weak, but god do they have spirit" said Vegeta with a hearty chuckle, casting his eyes over his gently snoring wife.

Cheers, whoops and wolf whistles sounded out from one of the upper levels of the restaurant.

"Quiet down, can't you see some of us are drunk!" shouted Bulma.

"Of all the women in the galaxy, I get a highly strung drunk" said Vegeta shaking his head.

"And off all the men in the universe, I get a well hung hunk" smiled Bulma luridly.

The moment of awkwardness had made Goku instantly remember his reason for being there. rushing up to the upper floors, Goku had made it in time to see his son still on one knee. All Goku could do was stand there with the biggest smile on his face, he was proud of all his family and everything they had ever achieved, but this filled Goku with so much pride that all he wanted to do was embrace his eldest son.

"Dad!, what are you doing here, this was supposed to be a secret" said Gohan shooting a devilish glare at his younger sibling.

"Don't blame your brother Gohan, we came to warn you that your mothers in a foul mood, but I think this will raise her spirits" said Goku letting Gohan out of his embrace, and instead turning his attention to Videl, making sure to be gentle when he embraced her.

Vegeta had now appeared clutching his swaying wife, applauding the new couple, all Vegeta could do was nod and smile at the sight he was seeing. After so many years of misery, it was nice for Vegeta to see some happiness in the world for a change, and it couldn't be for some of the most deserving of people. Gohan and Goku even Goten, had sacrificed so much for the people of earth and now they were finally getting something back. Even so Vegeta couldn't help but embarrass Gohan a little.

"Make sure to breed a couple more hybrids Gohan, we can't have Bulla growing up without any play mates her own race!" shouted Vegeta, at a now very red faced Gohan.

"Don't worry Videl, it's not as bad as it sounds!" chuckled Bulma.

"So do you want to go tell your mother the good news?" said Goku grabbing each member of his now expanded family.

Back at Mount Paoz, it appeared as if Chi-Chi had calmed down a little, she was sat at the counter reading one of her old romance books, the frying pan within arm's reach of her. Goku tried to make his appearance as quiet as possible, but like a shot Chi-Chi had grabbed the pan and was beating it in her palm.

"Wait Chi, before you say anything Gohan has something really important to tell you," said Goku holding his hands up in surrender.

"Well mum, me and Videl kind of erm, got engaged" said Gohan rather awkwardly.

Chi-Chi stood there for a good few seconds trying to register what her eldest son had just told her, a dumb founded look of surprise had overcome her features. Everyone including Videl flinched when she rushed forward and embraced her son and now daughter-in law, in a back breaking hug. She would've happily stayed like that for hours, if it weren't for the attempts to breathe from Videl becoming a bit laboured.

"Oh sorry dear, I'm just so happy that I might finally be a grandma one day," said Chi-Chi with the same tone of surprise.

"But that's enough for one night, you may be a married man now but you still have a bedtime, now go, the futon is already set up in your room from the last time Videl stayed,"

As everyone went to their respective bedrooms, the two Son parents were walking in a daze to their bedroom until they came to a halt outside their door.

"Ahem, where do you think you're going, you didn't bring any food home, so you know what that means," said Chi-Chi.

"Come on Chi, our son got engaged tonight, can't you just leave it and let things lie?" pleaded Goku.

"I guess you're right, and come in here I've got a special present for you," said Chi-Chi in a flirty voice.

All Goku did was follow like a love-struck puppy, when he entered their bedroom, Chi-Chi was holding something behind her back.

"Come on Chi, I want my surprise now!" Said Goku in a pleading tone.

"As you asked so nicely, I think you can have it Goku," said Chi-Chi, revealing the object behind her back, it was the frying pan.

"Happy valentine's day!"

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><p><strong><strong>AN: An entry for our Valentines Contest. The details are on our profile, please review if you want this to be one of the winners.****


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